All of my children at some point when they were the last in the line on the school drop off route suffered from my absent mindedness. On a few occasions I found myself looking back to find a silent little tot sitting in the back seat with a look of confusion but also excitement in their eyes. Off late that hasn’t happened in a while, but I still find myself looking back with a feeling of anxiousness in my heart that I forgot something … But the back seat is empty.
The sole of my sandals came loose a few months ago, so I took out the staple gun and fired a few staples into them. Unfortunately every other week the staples pull loose and I had to staple them again. Eventually the whole sole just ripped off one day and I had to concede to my wife’s advice to just buy new ones. As I was throwing them away acknowledging that their lifespan has been reached, I thought to myself – I’ll just run to the store tomorrow and replace them.
Three weeks of walking around bare footed in the house and finding excuses for why I can’t take the garbage out or go outside when needed to; I find myself in the mall looking for new sandals.
Now I know exactly what I want and where I’ll find it and I know they going to fit just right and I’ll be happy with them. How? Because I’m going to get me the same pair I wore for the last decade.
But instead of doing this I end up going to 7 other stores trying on different types, all of which were just wrong and eventually end up at the store I intended going to; buying the sandal I always buy.
Why did I go to the other stores? My wife went with me and pointed out all the other stores we walked pass on our way to ‘the store’. At the time her logic – how do you know they don’t have what you want if you didn’t even know they were there – seemed reasonable; but looking back that makes no sense. Of course they don’t have what I want. If they did, I’d know of their existence.
But I must be thankful that at least my wife got me to the store …
Gabby (6): “You know why mommy takes care of us so well? Because we were in her stomach for so many months! How many months again?”
Gabby: “For nine months! She’ll never leave us!”
Daddy trying to get kids to stand in a line: ‘Gabby(2) you stand in front, Chayill(5) you come stand in the middle and I’ll stand behind you. Then we’ll have small, big, bigger.”
Chayill: ‘NO, I’ll stand in front and Gabby can stand in the middle. Then we’ll have big, small, giant’
I guess from a kids perspective we are giants.
Busy making an espresso, Asher (9): ‘Daddy you should stop drinking that poison. You should drink water instead. And you should stop drinking wine too!’
First morning in Kimberley. Gabby(3) wakes me up: ‘Daddy I’m bored, come play with me.’
Daddy: ‘Gabby you have lots of friends here, two girls and baby boy to play with.’
Gabby: ‘His a small boy daddy. I don’t like little boys, I like big boys.’
Gabby(3) walks in pretending to be chatting on her play phone.
Asher(9), seeing me look at Gabby with amusement: ‘Daddy if you bought me a phone I’d just be playing games because I have no one to phone’
He probably latched on to my regular complaints about high phone bills and figured he’d position himself favourably, compared to his sister who clearly has her mothers genes.
Mommy to Gabby(3): ‘Out the way ladybug’
Gabby: ‘I’m not a aidy-bug’
Mommy: ‘What are you then’
Gabby: ‘I’m a princess’
I was in Durban the other night when I got a strange email from my wife:
“Please Help, Chayill’s (5) penis doesn’t want to go down”
Asher(9) holding up a koeksister asks: ‘Mommy, why do they call this a koeksister’
Chayill(6): ‘That’s not a koeksister. A koeksister is a mommy who bakes cakes and biscuits for children’