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Daddy trying to get kids to stand in a line: ‘Gabby(2) you stand in front, Chayill(5) you come stand in the middle and I’ll stand behind you. Then we’ll have small, big, bigger.”

Chayill: ‘NO, I’ll stand in front and Gabby can stand in the middle. Then we’ll have big, small, giant’

I guess from a kids perspective we are giants.


I was in Durban the other night when I got a strange email from my wife:

“Please Help, Chayill’s (5) penis doesn’t want to go down”

Who stole the moon?

Looking up to the sky, Asher(8): ‘Look at the moon Daddy.’

Looking up: “Wow thats a nice full moon.”

Chayill(5): ‘Where, I cant see it’

Pointing Chayill in the right direction, Chayill: ‘Wow, look daddy, we found the missing moon’

The will …

Coming home late I sneaked upstairs to kiss the kids good night. Finding Asher(8) awake we start conversing.

After sharing about our day Asher asks me how old I am. After telling him my age there is a few seconds of silence while he does the maths.

Asher: ‘So when I turn 12 you’ll be 40. That’s bad daddy. Don’t worry I’ll do my best not to land on that number’ (meaning he’ll try not to turn 12).

Unfortunately in life their are no snakes or ladders, but fortunately the dice only has a 1 on it.

After a little longer silence, Asher asks: ‘Daddy who is going to take care of me when you die?’

Daddy: ‘Hopefully by then you’ll be able to take care of yourself’

Asher: ‘But if you die tomorrow’

Daddy: ‘Mommy will look after you Asher’

Asher: ‘But Mommy doesn’t work’

daddy: ‘Don’t worry about that, Mommy will be able to look after you’

Asher: ‘And if mommy dies’

Daddy: ‘I think it’s time for you to go sleep now’

Brothers …

The other day I picked the kids up from school. Picked the boys up first and then Gabby(2)

Asher(8): “Daddy can I go in to pick Gabby up”

Chayill(5): “Daddy I want to go”

Daddy: “Both of you can come in with me”

Asher: “Chayill you can carry Gabby’s bag and I’ll carry Gabby.”

Big brother


Asher(8): “Daddy you better take Gabby out of that creche. I saw two boys bullying each other when we picked her up the other day and the teachers didn’t even stop them. You better take her out Daddy before she gets hurt.”


Watching a movie and a couple starts to kiss.

Asher(7): ‘Ah gross, they eating again’

Mommy: ‘Close your eyes Asher’

Asher: ‘I dont have to mommy, I just pretend they eating chocolate’

Daddy: ‘Why chocolate Asher?’

Chayill(5): ‘Yes Asher, why not fish’

Everyone looking at Chayill strangely as uncontrollable laughter fills the room.

Chayill: ‘Ok then, why not human. from planet 51′

Asher: ‘No Chayill, they chocolate people eating each other’