Carrot and stick …

Explaining discipline to Asher(9): ‘Asher think of yourself as a donkey who doesn’t want to move. I can put a carrot in front of you and hopefully get you to move, or I can use a stick on your bum to get you to move. Now what do you want, a carrot or a stick?’

Asher thinks, then replies: ‘Can I have carrot sticks’

Who stole the moon?

Looking up to the sky, Asher(8): ‘Look at the moon Daddy.’

Looking up: “Wow thats a nice full moon.”

Chayill(5): ‘Where, I cant see it’

Pointing Chayill in the right direction, Chayill: ‘Wow, look daddy, we found the missing moon’

The will …

Coming home late I sneaked upstairs to kiss the kids good night. Finding Asher(8) awake we start conversing.

After sharing about our day Asher asks me how old I am. After telling him my age there is a few seconds of silence while he does the maths.

Asher: ‘So when I turn 12 you’ll be 40. That’s bad daddy. Don’t worry I’ll do my best not to land on that number’ (meaning he’ll try not to turn 12).

Unfortunately in life their are no snakes or ladders, but fortunately the dice only has a 1 on it.

After a little longer silence, Asher asks: ‘Daddy who is going to take care of me when you die?’

Daddy: ‘Hopefully by then you’ll be able to take care of yourself’

Asher: ‘But if you die tomorrow’

Daddy: ‘Mommy will look after you Asher’

Asher: ‘But Mommy doesn’t work’

daddy: ‘Don’t worry about that, Mommy will be able to look after you’

Asher: ‘And if mommy dies’

Daddy: ‘I think it’s time for you to go sleep now’

Brothers …

The other day I picked the kids up from school. Picked the boys up first and then Gabby(2)

Asher(8): “Daddy can I go in to pick Gabby up”

Chayill(5): “Daddy I want to go”

Daddy: “Both of you can come in with me”

Asher: “Chayill you can carry Gabby’s bag and I’ll carry Gabby.”

Big brother


Asher(8): “Daddy you better take Gabby out of that creche. I saw two boys bullying each other when we picked her up the other day and the teachers didn’t even stop them. You better take her out Daddy before she gets hurt.”


Watching a movie and a couple starts to kiss.

Asher(7): ‘Ah gross, they eating again’

Mommy: ‘Close your eyes Asher’

Asher: ‘I dont have to mommy, I just pretend they eating chocolate’

Daddy: ‘Why chocolate Asher?’

Chayill(5): ‘Yes Asher, why not fish’

Everyone looking at Chayill strangely as uncontrollable laughter fills the room.

Chayill: ‘Ok then, why not human. from planet 51′

Asher: ‘No Chayill, they chocolate people eating each other’

Winter nightmares

Asher(9): ‘Daddy can I sleep with Chayill(6) tonight. I keep getting nightmares and I’m scared’

This continues for about a week

Daddy: ‘Asher I’m getting worried about these nightmares you keep getting’

Asher: ‘Don’t worry, I only want to sleep by Chayill for the warmth’

Mind reading

Daddy, holding up 3 fingers says: ‘Gabby let me read your mind. Think about how many fingers I’m showing, but don’t tell me. Now come put your head against my forehead and look me in the eyes. Hmmm, you were thinking of 3 fingers’

Gabby(3) holds up 1 finger, tells me to think about it then puts her head against mind and says: ‘Daddy you were thinking about 1 finger. I can also read your mind’

Who is your hero

Chayill needed to take pictures of words starting with the letter H to school so mommy asks him who his hero is.

Chayill(6) replies:  ‘God’

Asher(9): ‘Nobody knows how Jesus looks Chayill, unless you go back and ask the people in history’

Chayill: ‘Why don’t you just ask Google’